FAQs : Ceremony
coaching faqs | ceremony faqs

For answers, click on the questions below.
~ Why would I want to do a ceremony?
~ I’m not particularly religious. Am I going to feel
~ uncomfortable with a ceremony?
~ I just want ideas so that I can create my own
~ ceremony. Can you help me?
~ I feel a little foolish. Designing a ceremony feels like
~ I’m making too big of a deal out of this milestone.
~ I know I want something special but I don’t know
~ where to start.
~ Is it complicated to create a ceremony?
~ Do I need you to create a ceremony?
~ How much does a ceremony cost?
~ How do I contact you?

Q Why would I want to do a ceremony?
A Ceremonies help us to honor a significant milestone
A in our lives, whether that is losing a tooth or having
A a mastectomy, getting promoted or getting fired, getting
A married or getting divorced, having a baby or sending
A your child off to college.

A Generally ceremonies revolve around:
A ~ relating with others (weddings, divorce, baptisms)
A ~ changing (birthdays, promotions, moves)
A ~ healing (funerals, recovering from trauma)
A ~ celebrating (holidays, happy occasions)

A They don’t need to be elaborate. Taking the time to
A mark the occasion (happy or sad) in ways that are
A deeply meaningful to you is the making of a ceremony.
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Q I’m not particularly religious. Am I going to feel
Q uncomfortable with a ceremony?
A You may feel uncomfortable because a ceremony is
A an intentional use of ritual. Ritual has been a part of
A humanity since time began. Most of our current rituals
A are either unconscious or associated with a particular
A church.

A I work with each client to discover his or her religious
A background, current spiritual beliefs and practices (or lack
A thereof), and comfort zone. Those are incorporated or
A avoided as appropriate in whatever ceremony we design.
A I draw from a wide variety of resources that come from
A many faiths and cultures, modern and ancient.
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Q I just want ideas so that I can create my own
Q ceremony. Can you help me?
A Certainly. I am happy to work with you to design the
A perfect ceremony that you perform for yourself or that
A someone else performs for you. And there are many
A books about ceremonies that will be of great benefit.
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Q I feel a little foolish. Designing a ceremony feels like
Q I’m making too big of a deal out of this milestone.
A If an event is important to you, it counts! By acknowledg-
A ing the event, you acknowledge and validate yourself, too.

A As I said before, it does not have to be elaborate. It may
A be enough to light a candle and say a prayer on the due
A date of the baby you miscarried 14 years ago. Or to
A make a fabulous candlelight dinner for one in honor
A of your first promotion. Or to write down 50 wonderful
A memories of your favorite aunt on her 50th birthday.

A On the other hand, there are times when nothing but
A a full-scale ceremony feels right.

A Most people choose one when they get married. I think
A it is very powerful to do one when you get divorced.

A Baby showers are a form of ceremony for the mother-to-
A be. With a little additional planning, they can include the
A blessings and heartfelt wishes of a woman’s support
A group as she goes through the life-transforming event
A of childbirth.
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Q I know I want something special but I don’t know
Q where to start.
A Brainstorming with someone who loves ceremonies is
A a great place to start. Also, just tune into your world
A once you decide you want to create a ceremony. You’ll
A be amazed at how the perfect things practically fall into
A your lap. You’ll flip on the radio and there will be the
A perfect song. A friend will loan you a book with the
A perfect reading in it. Your eyes will land on the perfect
A symbol for this milestone. It will be as if the whole world
A is conspiring to help you honor your life experiences.
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Q Is it complicated to create a ceremony?
A What matters most in the creation of a ceremony is
A your intention.

A Like a good speech, a ceremony typically includes a
A beginning (some way to express the purpose for the
A ceremony), a middle (the actual work), and an end
A (usually a blessing or statement of thanks). Sure, there
A are lots of helpful tools for the middle part. But if you
A don’t happen to have access to sage for ceremonially
A cleansing your new apartment (which, when it burns,
A smells suspiciously like an illegal substance), you can
A use salt water, or burn some incense or a candle. No
A special supplies are required.
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Q Do I need you to create a ceremony?
A No, not at all. Ideally, you will honor and celebrate many
A milestones through your life. I’d love to get you started
A or to co-create the really big ones with you.
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Q How much does a ceremony cost?
A That depends on the ceremony. As you might imagine,
A ceremonies vary widely (and wildly) in length, complexity,
A and time required. The range is between $75 and $500,
A not including any travel or long distance charges. I can
A make an estimate once I know what you have in mind.
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Q How do I contact you?
A Start by sending me an email: mary@yourjoyfullife.com.
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